I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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