I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
