Cold hands, warm shart.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
