i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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