I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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