Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
