no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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