My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
