I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize