This girl is more easily done than said...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
