it wasn't lemon gatorade
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
