i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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