Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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