I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
