Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
