Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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