I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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