sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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