How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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