I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
