i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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