I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
