his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
