I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
