We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
