He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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