Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
