she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
