so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
