i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
