Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
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all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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