I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
