Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
