i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
