just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
