He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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