Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well I just put wine in my tea
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
