come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
