i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
