i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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