wanna go halves on a baby?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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