Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do vagina's smell?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
