I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
