We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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