I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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