she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
