Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
