:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
