so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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