Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
