I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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