the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
