my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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