i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
