okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Less talking, more tequila
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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