I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
