you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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