Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
