absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
