Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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