I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
