It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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